Behind the Bottle: My Mother’s Secret Struggle with Alcoholism – Becky’s Story

When does alcohol use become alcohol abuse? A glass of wine with the girls? How about a cocktail every night after work? Alcohol abuse is the secret addiction that no one talks about. Media portrays alcohol consumption as fun or refined. Instagram is full of pictures of people of all ages drinking at social gatherings, on vacation, or during dinner. The drunk man on the sitcom is funny and friendly; a trait most people associate with inebriated people. My mother was not one of these. My mother suffered from addiction to alcohol and Oxycodone. She was normally heavily intoxicated by 10:00am and she would become verbally and physically abusive. To everyone else she was well spoken and polite, but behind closed doors with a Budweiser in her hands, she was everything but. The truth is that alcoholism is more prevalent than people realize. To combat the rising rates of alcohol abuse, it is vital that people learn to see the warning of signs that they or a loved one may have an addiction.

            Susan Elizabeth Jovet wasn’t born an addict, nor was she an addict her whole life. Life was not kind to her, but she survived. She was born in Florida, bounced between family members in Puerto Rico, and eventually dropped out of school in the 8^th grade. In the seventies she sold her body to make ends meet and used heroin to numb the pain. My mother’s life changed when she moved to Colorado and met my father. She cleaned up, had a vibrant and healthy social life, got her GED, and eventually gave birth to me. At first, my mother was mom. She made sure I ate healthy and exercised. We played games all the time and she would read with me. We watched Bill Nye and Bob Ross before lunch and then would go for a walk or explore in the afternoon. She made sure to be involved with my school and even held a part time job. Mom loved my dad, and they had a healthy relationship. Despite her lack of a formal education, she read frequently and was well spoken as a result. She could speak Spanish and English fluently and had many friends that spoke both languages. Everything changed for us when I was around six years old.     

                       It all started with a visit to her doctor. I remember walking behind my parents wondering why my mom was crying. She was diagnosed with Hepatitis C, a condition she had probably picked up when she was younger and sharing needles with friends. Instead of trying to stay healthy and survive, however, she spiraled. That day, she went from being my mom to mother. Her days were spent standing behind the counter drinking a twelve pack of Budweiser from morning to evening. She went from being a loving and attentive mother to a hateful and absent one. She would insult me and my dad daily or hit me with shoes when I didn’t do what she wanted. She didn’t cook and barely cleaned. My dad worked long hours and wasn’t fully aware of the severity of her alcoholism until I was almost taken by Child Protective Services. During one of her binges, my mother had to be rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. The staff reported my parents to CPS and when they questioned my dad about who was watching over me while he was working, he lied and said a neighbor took care of me during the day. After that incident he tried for years to get her help. He would stop buying her alcohol, but she would just have her friend buy it for her. He put her in rehab, but she would go back to drinking a month or so later after she was released. He took her to a therapist, but she continued to drink. Eventually she started taking Oxycodone that had been prescribed for my dad when he hurt his back.

                       In the end, my dad lost the war against her addiction. When I was a teenager, they divorced and my dad left. Against my better judgement, I made the decision to stay with my mother so that I could continue going to the same school. Her drunken behavior worsened after my dad left. She would harass and call him multiple times a day. When he stopped answering, she stole my phone and continued to harass him. She would show up at his home and scream at him or break into his house. When her rage wasn’t directed at my dad, she turned on me. She pulled me out of school, insulted me and told me how my dad didn’t love me. When I was fourteen, I refused to go to the store while she was drunk, and she kicked me out of the house. While living with my dad, she became violent. We moved to another state after she threatened to shoot my dad. Her intoxicated harassment continued until I turned twenty-one. In July of 2012 I got a call from the Denver Police Department. My mother’s body had been found outside when the friends she was staying with came home from work. She had been drinking so much she passed out on the steps of their trailer. In the middle of the sweltering summer her body had overheated, and she passed away. In the end her drinking ruined her life. She lost her family, friends, home, and eventually, her life.

                       Many Americans have stories like my mother’s. In 2023, a National Survey on Drug Use and Health reported that 16.4 million Americans over the age of twelve reported heavy alcohol use in the past month while 28.9 million people admitted they suffered from Alcohol Use Disorder. With the increasing amount of alcohol consumption and abuse, emergency personnel have seen a 47% increase of alcohol related emergencies from 2006 to 2014 and roughly 178,000 deaths caused by alcohol. Sadly, the increased consumption of alcohol also resulted in increased DUIs. This has caused the deaths of 13,524 people in 2022. There are two contributing factors that I believe are influencing this increasing trend of alcohol overconsumption.  First, the media. Commercials on TV advertising Tennessee Whiskey. A character in an action movie downing a shot before the climax. A recipe in a food magazine for a boozy hot chocolate. Influencers on Instagram partying and drinking expensive wine.  Americans are bombarded by media daily. Underage children may start to drink after seeing their role model getting tipsy at an event. Someone already struggling with addiction may drink more when they see their favorite athlete celebrating after winning an important game.  Media is more influential than people give it credit for. The second factor contributing to alcoholism is the availability and normalization of alcohol.  Anyone can pick up brandy at the grocery store or beer at a gas station. Restaurants sell entire bottles of wine to guests while the liquor store down the street sells the good tequila. Alcoholic beverages are readily available day or night and are affordable for consumers. Socially, people will go out for drinks with friends or coworkers. There is no stigma against drinking and, at times, it’s even celebrated. When an addict’s drug of choice is easy to get, it will be much harder for them to overcome their addiction.

                       To combat alcohol abuse, we as a society need to acknowledge the dangers of alcohol abuse and encourage moderation. Any facility that sells alcohol should ensure their staff is thoroughly trained to recognize not just the signs of intoxication, but the signs of alcoholism as well. These businesses should have materials available and posted discussing the signs of alcohol abuse and where someone can get help.  Support should be affordable and available for anyone. Many rehabilitation facilities are completely booked or very expensive.  Finally, the media should launch campaigns against alcohol abuse and stop glorifying excessive drinking and partying. As someone majoring in Communication and Digital Photography, my eventual career goal is to create content for either social media or television. I could use this position to create posts that discuss the importance of moderation and explain how to get assistance for someone struggling with alcohol abuse.
         I do not have anything against people consuming alcohol in moderation. However, alcohol addiction is very real and just as dangerous as any other addiction. With hard work, support, and determination, addictions can be overcome. If Americans are more aware of the underlying dangers of alcoholism and more care were to be given to alcoholics, perhaps we can see the trend in alcohol abuse go down.

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