Parents of teenagers know this conversation needs to happen — and ideally, it should start before the teen years. Every parent wants their child to avoid the risks associated with drugs and alcohol, and the evidence is clear that parental involvement makes a real difference. Research consistently shows that consistent parental monitoring and open communication are associated with lower rates of adolescent substance use. (Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20472213/)
Two-way communication is key. We cannot control every aspect of a young person’s life, but teens who have honest, ongoing conversations with their parents are better equipped to make informed decisions when faced with peer pressure or difficult situations.
Tips to Speak to Your Teenager About Drugs and Alcohol
Some of the following practical tips may help you when speaking to your teen about drugs and alcohol:
Set Clear Values and Rules
Telling a teen to “be smart” or “make good decisions” is too vague — those phrases mean different things to different people. Be specific about where you stand on drug and alcohol use, and make sure your teen understands both the expectations and the consequences of breaking them. Rules should be communicated with love and genuine concern for their wellbeing, not fear or punishment alone. Research shows that parenting approaches combining clear rule-setting, monitoring, and open communication have the strongest protective effect against adolescent substance use. (Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20472213/)
Ask Open-Ended Questions and Listen Without Judgment
Start by asking your teen what they already know or think about drugs and alcohol — then listen. A teen who feels their perspective is valued is far more likely to stay engaged in the conversation. Avoid lecturing and instead fill in gaps with factual, current information. NIDA’s Parents & Educators resource is a reliable starting point for getting the facts right before the conversation. (Source: https://nida.nih.gov/research-topics/parents-educators)
Explore the Reasons Behind Use
Teens use drugs or alcohol for many reasons. While peer pressure and social belonging are common factors, parents may be surprised to learn that many teens use substances to manage anxiety, relieve stress, or cope with difficult emotions. Understanding the “why” behind the behavior gives you insight into what support your teen actually needs. If underlying mental health issues appear to be a factor, an assessment from a qualified healthcare or addiction professional is the appropriate next step.
Know When to Intervene
If there are clear signs that your teen is using drugs or alcohol — whether recreationally or more regularly — do not hesitate to act. Any level of substance use in adolescence carries real risks, both for immediate health and for long-term development. Early intervention is always better than waiting. If you are unsure where to start, SAMHSA’s free, confidential National Helpline (1-800-662-4357) connects families with local treatment and support resources 24/7. (Source: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline)
